Metal Band Amazes World With Proof of Their Existence!

All eyes were widened over the past couple of weeks when the legendary metal band Worry The Bones posted new photos on their facebook page. There had been widespread rumor and speculation that WTB had been nothing more than a falsity, a figment of two radical minds that had merged to create a disingenuous musical oasis. Many thirsty listeners felt they were being led to drink water in a desert paradise that was nothing more than a mirage. That all changed however, when photos illuminating the five members of the band emerged to reveal a real physical entity. Musicians holding and playing instruments no less. Fans took to the streets all over the world to rejoice, some chanting "it's true, they do exist, I've seen them".

HAS THE HEAVEN LEAGUE OF FANTASTY FOOTBALL GOTTEN TOO OUT OF CONTROL?

HILL FIFTEEN, IT'S BEAUTIFUL, HEAVEN SIDE 4, HEAVEN SIDE 4 IS BEAUTIFUL

Amy Admamassasas, Heaven In Face

Last night Warlord Landlord, K.P. Fence won the HEAVEN FFL over ANGEL-COUNSEL CHUCK
255-222.

There were lots of hugs and kisses and until ANGEL-COUNSEL CHUCK's wife began a spectactle
of flirting, then rubbing her breasts all over Warlord Landlord, K.P. Fence.

Word is, this has happened before.

Stay tuned.

And good drafting.

Creativity Is A Hearty Shit Sandwich

Many would say that an artist's best work comes from his or her own miserable existence. Drawing inspiration form the failings and unlucky situations they find themselves in at any given moment. Sometimes, however, inspiration can be an elusive device for both songwriters and musicians. This would not be the case with Derek Richards and Rick Williamson, the two key songwriters of the metal / hard rock band Worry The Bones, who have both dauntingly maintained an existence of misery for most of their lives. 

"We find that it keeps us on our toes when we serve ourselves a daily platter of shit sandwiches", says Derek, lead singer and lyricist of the group. "Without the craptastic lifestyle I endure, songs like 'I Enemy You' and 'Hospitals & Helicopters' would have never seen the light of day", the scrawny, half-starved vocalist says as he attempts to wrangle another drag out of the already abused cigarette butt in his hand.

"it keeps us on our toes when we serve ourselves a daily platter of shit sandwiches" - D. Richards

"I've had my share of ups and downs", says Rick, lead guitarist and composer, "but nothing the likes of which Derek deals with. He's just not productive unless he takes his morning stroll through Hell every day". A very serious look crosses his face, "To be perfectly honest, I go out of my way to make sure that Derek never runs out of ammunition for his craft. If he even shows the slightest resemblance of joy I quickly move to reverse it". Rick goes on to recall his own troubled past of jail, being a suspected terrorist and the undoings of his life as a rejected high school student. "These things have a way of creating integrity as well as thoughts of suicide", he says as he scrapes the freshly endured dog feces from the soul of his weathered Chuck Conners allstar, "Worry The Bones would be just another pop rock boy band had it not been for the havoc the both of us have and are living through". 

All we can say here at Music Vessel is God bless fucking calamity if as a result it creates music the likes of which Worry The Bones seem to be doing in fever.

The New Concept of Cooking With Metal

It's a well known fact in chemistry that the infusion of different elements can produce new undiscovered elements. Just watch the movie Iron Man II and see how Tony Stark reinvents his power source by combining various metals to create a new core for his super hero suites. I can't wait to get one myself, it should arriving within the next week or so.

However, Mr. Stark is not alone in his genius. It seems Chef Steve Anderson, of Peppercorn's Restaurant in Billerica, MA, has taken inspiration from the man behind Iron Man and developed his own new chemical element. By merging various forms of heavy metal together with various foods and wines, Steve has created a very tangible result in the form of delectable entertainment. He is calling his creation "Anodized Chef". It is my opinion that what Chef Steve has accomplished is nothing less than a molten heavy metal food fusion. We here at the Music Vessel have managed to acquire a small portion of this new chemical madness and mayhem and are pleased to give our readers a chance to indulge in it. We offer you the following episode and encourage you all to turn it up loud and get those sauce pans heated up.

Viewers Experience Hypnosis Through Youtube Video

It seems there is a new trend of hypnotic videos being released on the global internet video giant Youtube that induce a state of uneasiness in it's viewers. Some people have been describing the effects as life altering, and eye opening to say the least. We have managed to isolate one of these so-called "Hypnovids" as they are being called, but we must warn the viewers to watch at their own risk. We can not be held responsible for any mental alertness this may cause so please use your discretion before clicking play.

SPACESHIP FOUND IN GLOUCESTER, MA APARTMENT

Just yesterday, NASA confirmed that an extra-terrestrial "space-ship" WAS found in a Gloucester, Massachusetts apartment.  It was roughly the shape and size of your average beetle.  One of the co-renters of the apartment, Derek Richards, who we later discovered to be the lead singer for the greatest rock band of all time, Worry The Bones, had this to say, "it was roughly the size and shape of your average beetle."
Jennifer Jenson, our lead scientific correspondent was on the scene just moments after separating from her fourth husband in two years.
"Could you see the aliens?" she asked Mr. Richards.
"The space-ship was the size of your beetle, roughly," he answered, "so, no, didn't get to see a whole lot

An artists rendition of what the spacecraft looked like.

'aliens'."
"Did they speak to you?"
Mr. Richards shook his head vehemently.  "I stepped on the fucking thing, Jenny, I thought it was your average beetle."
Moments later Jenny proposed to Mr. Richards who refused.
"This could be the beginning of an inter-galactic war," said the amazing vocalist, "this is no time for
marraige proposals."
Stay tuned, we'll continue to monitor this situation and NASA has promised to brief us on any further
developments gained from evidence taken from the bottom of Mr. Richards shoes.

THE UNIVERSAL BEAT

Music On a Music Blog? That's Crazy Talk!

So this being a music blog after all, we find it only appropriate to include some music every now and then. So here ya go, "Thirteen Pregnant Virgins" is the debut album from Worry The Bones and you can preview all 13 songs right now in their entirety for free. How cool is that?

Like the music? Be sure to sign up for their mailing list or become a fan on facebook to receive the latest in news, new releases and other such tasty tid bits. Just click on the links in the side bar of this blog and rock on! 

Oh yeah, and if you are really feeling ambitious and supportive you can purchase the CD or download the album using the "Buy" button, also in the sidebar of this blog. Thanks for listening!