NEWLY DISCOVERED COMET TO STRIKE GOOD HARBOR BEACH!!!

New startingling research by NASA scientists has clearly put Good Harbor Beach, in the beautiful coastal town of Gloucester, Massachusetts in direct risk of a comet landing.  The six and half mile long comet, named "Fix The Roads Already!" is expected to land on Good Harbor Beach on Saturday, August 27th,
at 9:24 a.m.  "Fix The Roads Already" is what scientists call a "death-comet."
"It will surely wipe out every asshole, I mean, resident and tourist of Gloucester within seconds. This is no joke," explained Dr. Rudy Gladendale of the Atlantic Ocean Research Center based in a small hotel in

Lynn, Massachusetts.  "Alot of beautiful, tanned young women are gonna die if we don't take the necessary precautions and that would be an incredible shame."
"Fix The Roads Already" was first discoverd in 1977 by a Gloucester fisherman named Sully, but no one took him seriously.  Now it appears that the ignorance displayed the U.S. government could cost hundreds
of assholes, I mean, residents and tourists of losing their lives in mere seconds.
Dr. Shauna McNotsobrite put it this way..."you'll be tanning and then you'll be dead."
Stay tuned for more updates, this is NOT a hoax.  If you are laying on Good Harbor Beach on Saturday,
August 27th, at 9:24 a.m. and a big, bright thing comes flying towards you, dig as deep into the sand as you can and don't drink alcohol.  Alcohol only intensifies the comets immediate destruction and world-wide
exctintion of humans all over the world.  Stay tuned for more reports.